Day 119, January 10th, 2011

3 years ago I landed for good. I left half of my family back home cause at the time was still home, knowing they were also coming back here but anyway at the time they were not here with me. 3 years later I am still scared, I have my ups and downs, hardly ever do I question my decision though hard, but I am still struggling my elbows ahead. Not very different from half of the rambling world today but indeed a step you don’t walk so late in life. The unexpected becomes more natural with the young, the adjustment to everything different appeals more to the young and the will and the strength also. And you have an average intelligence and perception and you know the arrow of adjustment and happiness and fulfillment and joy and excitement will go very up at the beginning then it will settle down a bit near the middle and finally before the final orgasm which could end up being good or bad, you yet don’t know but there’s the arrow going down and down and down and everything wearing out, like in a dream like with alcohol or like with everything, a still time after the new and the excitement the point being that you knew about this natural wave going up and down but the hard work here is not letting the arrow go further down and down and down and not letting it fall for ever but keep the expectancy and hope and just taking in each day with everything it comes with.


Taking it all in, cause each and everyday even if some are bad are taking you directly non-stop to the goal of just being part of the society the place the country the language and the uses and mysteries and all, cause in the end, I am alive and I am in Israel. Only today, this moment this life this Me.