The
Letter Netanyahu Should Send to the EU
Posted By
Steven Plaut On July 19, 2013
Editor’s note: The letter below was formulated on behalf of
the Israeli Prime Minister by Steven Plaut:
Dear Leaders and Commissioners of the European
Union:
As Prime Minister of Israel I would like to thank you for
sharing your thoughts with the world about how Israel should solve the Middle
East conflict, namely by agreeing to “return” the “occupied Palestinian” lands
to the “Palestinians.”
Always willing to be of public service, I have composed a
small list of minor preconditions that must be met in order for Israel to agree
to return to the “Palestinians” the “occupied territories” that are “theirs.”
These are really just minor corrections in your own plan. After
all, why should Israel be the first and the only country to “return” lands to
the original inhabitants from which they “seized” these lands in
“occupation”?
So here goes:
It goes without saying that the Americans and Canadians
must lead the way and show Israel the light by returning all lands that they
seized from the Indians and the Mexicans to their original owners. The
Anglo-Saxons, meaning the English, will be invited to return the British isles
to their rightful original Celtic and Druid owners, while they return to their
own ancestral Saxon homeland in northern Germany and Denmark. The Danes of
course will be asked to move aside. In fact, they will be asked to move back to
their Norwegian and Swedish homeland, to make room for the returning
Anglo-Saxons.
But that is just a beginning. The Spanish will be called
upon to leave the Iberian peninsula that they wrongfully occupy and return it to
the indigenous Celtiberians. Similarly, the Portuguese occupiers will leave
their lands and return them to the Lusitanians. The Magyars will go back where
they came from and leave Hungary to its true owners. The Australians and New
Zealanders obviously will have to end their occupations of lands that do not
belong to them. The Thais will leave Thailand. The Bulgarians will return to
their Volga homeland and abandon occupied Bulgaria. Anyone speaking Spanish
will be expected to end his or her forced occupation of Latin America. It goes
without saying that the French will surrender all their lands, starting with
Corsica, to their rightful owners. The Turks will go back to Mongolia and leave
Anatolia altogether. The Germans will go back to Gotland. The Italians will
return the boot to the Etruscans and Greeks.
That leaves the Arabs and Iranians. First, all of
northern Africa, from Mauritania to Egypt and Sudan, will have to be immediately
abandoned by the illegal Arab occupiers and squatters and returned to their
lawful original Berber, Punic, Greek, and Vandal owners. Occupied Syria and
Lebanon must be released at once from the cruel occupation of the Arab
imperialist aggressors. Iraq must be returned to the Assyrians and Chaldeans.
Southern Arabia must be returned to the Abyssinians. The Arabs may retain
control of the central portion of the Arabian peninsula as their homeland. But
not the oil fields.
Oh, and the Palestinian infiltrators, usurpers and
squatters will of course have to return the lands they are illegally and
wrongfully occupying to their legal and rightful owners – the
Jews.
While we are fixing world problems, let us also return
all of Iran to its rightful owners. I of course mean the
Mongolians.
True, Iran was conquered or liberated from the Persians
by the Mongols militarily starting in 1219. Iran then became a legitimate part
of the Mongol homeland. Tamerlane, who was part Mongol, also ran the place. All
in all, the Mongol liberation of Persia lasted for two and a half centuries, not
much different from the length of the period of Arab rule of “Palestine,” after
which Iran was “lost” to Turkic tribes. I guess that means the Turks also have
a legitimate claim to a homeland there.
Now if the fact that some Arab armies once conquered the
Land of Israel is thought to confer upon them rights of sovereignty and even
statehood, why should not the Mongol conquest of Iran do the same? After all,
Iran was once a Mongol state, as recently as 550 years ago, whereas the last
time the Land of Israel was an Arab Palestinian state was, well,
never.
Not only should Mongol rule be restored to Iran as the
only legitimate rulers of the place, but these days the Mongols make far better
neighbors than do the ayatollahs. The Mongols have no nuclear plans and have
never met with the anti-Semitic pagans from the Neturei Karta. The Mongols
would surely put the Persian Gulf petroleum to better use than do the Holocaust
Deniers in Iran these days, like developing yak milk
production capacities.
So, I say, end these illegal occupations once and for all
and return these lands to their rightful owners!
And right after all this, Israel will be happy to
implement your proposals in full.
Thanks you for hearing me
out.
Sincerely yours,
Benjamin Netanyahu, Prime Minister of
Israel
2. Lots of people are complaining about the
decision by Rolling Stone Magazine to run a photo of the Boston Islamist bomber
on its cover. Rolling Stone is of course the
drugs-and-rock-and-roll magazine that I consider to be a gentile Tikkun.
You may recall that Michael Lerner, the publisher of Tikkun, got his
rabbinic ordination from Rolling Stone
Magazine.
In
any case, among the loudest complainers about the cover of Rolling Stone have
been some other magazines and newspapers that have run cover celebrations of
Yassir Arafat, Abu Mazen, Turkey's Erdogan, and other
terrorists.
3. You probably have heard about the story
that the US media are buzzing about. It seems that a man in
Houston was arrested for cruelty towards animals after he had sex with a horse
twice. See this: http://houston.cbslocal.com/2013/07/04/police-man-arrested-twice-for-having-sex-with-same-horse/
Now when you read it I am sure that you
immediately have exactly the same thought they I had when I read the
story. And that is that it is now only a question of time until
the Reconstructionist movement decides to ordain the man in question as a
rabbi.
4. Jesse Bojangles Jackson finds some
apartheid: http://frontpagemag.com/2013/dgreenfield/jesse-jackson-declares-florida-an-apartheid-state/
5. Well the forces of darkness in the US
failed in their attempt to perpetrate a reverse OJ in the Zimmerman
trial. In the OJ trial, OJ was "acquitted" in order to show
whitey. In the Zimmerman case, the attempt was to convict
Zimmerman in order to show whitey. It did not
work.
All
in all I prefer a hoodie to a kaffiya.
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