Day 12, Sept. 25th, 2010

Life seems...........What is it life about, anyway ?, for sure I don't have the answer but sometimes it seems to be something when/where you solve conflicts/problems/misunderstandings and misfortunes and little spans of happiness in between. Sometimes it seems that not a single day goes by without having faced someone, fixed something or solved internal problems and family/friends' disputes which in any case is the good side cause many times you can't even solve them and you just need to swallow them and they become little or huge bubbles of air inside you till you grow a balloon. What happened to the good old times when you could speak your heart out ?? today everything is politically incorrect/shut up/nobody is listening. Or did I grow up in the times where even the dogs went to the psychologist ? at least you could count on one human ear to listen to you. Today Marketing is the newest god and it can also dictate what you can say, feel. Today it is almost the computer the only ear to hear you out, no time for a good cup of coffee and a good conversation or maybe it has always been so and the real nature and fate of human beings is their eternal loneliness with a couple of friends/kids/coworkers and dogs. Cause if it true that we bring upon ourselves our own problems and diseases what terrible bubbles were kept inside me for so long and so deep that they just exploded out in a series of ten hip operations and three right leg dislocations and a more than 10 year span so dark and sad and black I didn't even know today what kept me from sinking for good..........