Day 48, October 31th, 2010

and I have always hated halloween and today it got my revenge on me and when I went to a shop to remove my batteries for new ones from my electronic organizer, the shmuck did something wrong and left me with at least a span of a 8 year data dataless, erased from memory from life from me...............schedules, doc's appointments, memos, telephones and faxes, my dead, my alive, documents' numbers from all 3 countries from the 5 of us and the worst, all 5 grandchildren birth's details gone for ever, for ever, no memory no past no preaent no future, so this is it, me and the now and the right now and not a minute past and not a minute away............is it good ?? I don't know, the only thing I know right now is that I am so miserable, so downdated so naked so lonely.........only yesterday I was talking about the time and how I need to enjoy today cause it will never come back again but this ????? why this, ?? This cursed witches the nerve to erase my life, so many times forgotten, a previous organizer, some thieves in Lima stole it to me along with my purse, credit cards, home keys and what not, I cried I despareted, I updated my life ......some years again all over again and again and again and I feel miserable, cause we are a summing up of so much info and data and phones and contacts and now an empty hole, I need yet again to start filling up, or not ??