Day 91, December 13th, 2010

One of the perks of mature age is that nobody hears you out; you do not have any soul to speak to or find anyone interested enough in what you have to say and if you live in a country where you cannot speak the language of it, it becomes even more dramatically but I guess it is only fear, you can’t lead the show all of your life even if you spoke the language you need to set aside and let others talk, it is so hard to understand that everybody has their chance and time to speak and you feel so badly treated but this is only life, only life…….there’s not time enough to live a normal life but live running through it in an eternal lack of space, money, time, and worth, let alone to hear problems of people of the past, stories of the past, ways of the past and past opportunities……so hard for me to digest, so hard for me to be set aside as a person and scarcely considered a mom or a grown-up or someone you love and that is as far as it can get, cause the ideas and ways of the past are no more, cause the way we raised are no more, cause we are no more little by little and little by little it is the most important and relevant time in your life when you need to dig out friends and look for them everywhere cause they will in the end be the only ones to share your past and talk your present not to mention if you have the bliss of having a companion not matter they can be so far away…….