Day 122, January 13th, 2011

2 weeks to go to my 62nd birthday and I am petrified, afraid, lonesome, lonely, frustraded, depressed, and a bitter stomach, I know this feeling is not for good but I also know that I am fed up with this never ending cicle of ups and downs where the downs out number the ups. To make things worse and even if they don't mean shit my papers got in where I am now regarded a pensioneer or whatever meaning something similar of being regarded as old. And old I feel............