Day 140 January 31st, 2011

So many people to ask for forgiveness, so many to forgive and especially me to forgive myself a lot about..........cause you don't move further unless you cleanse yourself of the burden of pain and guilt and painful memories and you need to start your journey from scratch and deep deep down and deep deep dark and simply let go of everything, every single memory every single mistake and choice and bad one and OH God the memories, I have been made the go-between parent's problems and dramas and dirt at 10, I have been robbed of my childhood and I have paid every penny of little happiness I could have enjoyed. The big picture is OK, the everyday one not so OK..............but in theend you keep discovering that you are not so mad after all, every single being on earth has their own issues and many of them we all share, so in the end this is only a long long journey to finding who we are and easying our pains......and adjust the best we can cause in the end we share lives but we never share ourselves cause in the end we are alone and lonely cause loneliness is inherent to human beings cause the journey you need to do it by yourself..............