Day 144 February 4th, 2011

I am going dancing and I hope I am coming back healthy and on one piece, I cannot remain afraid of living, yes, I am very afraid of undergoing another operation but living in fear is risking too much too, remaining still is also being kidnapped alive and for good, but I am afraid cause deep down is like not listening to your parents commands when little, cause doing what is not right is doing wrong and doing the wrong build up the guilt and the fear and this is very hard to bear, which is harder, not living fully or risking an operation which it was already pending as a sword over my head, I do not know cause I don’t know anymore what to do in life, if self healing is the truth then I should be coming home in one piece, and I am coming home in one piece cause enough is enough, there can’t be any more suffering and hospitals and rehabs and all the drill


Cause I forgave and I asked for forgiveness and I cleansed and I am taking up a new beginning and I am coming home in one piece safe and sound