Day 10, Sept. 23rd, 2010

And when I needed so desperately a frame for a family-like society, the hippie generation was born and the 60s/70s maybe one of the best exciting generations of all times, the women's lib, sexual freedom, abortion free, love and peace and all that shit seemed to be the answer to all the problems on earth even then I felt I didn't fit in, yes, OK, love and peace who would have dreamt a world without them but without sharing love with all my neighbors, kids with a dozen fathers and my God !! have I not gone wild and crazy and fascinated with sunshine, the rules of society went down, changed everything but didn't change me, I was still stuck in the one family-based society, share love not husband and boy was I a bit anxious about the women's lib, lots of wise/unique changes but so far fetched at times for me when I was so wildly in search of a man/father figure, they wanted to do away with both mercifulness !! what was wrong with loving men while trying to be a feminine woman all rights inclusive ?? It seemed that no theory/life changing rules for good was no good if it hadn't changed everything to the extreme, I am an extremist person who would go from one to the other but very in the middle when it comes to ideas........I was only 19-20 or so when someone in Buenos Aires told me, the extremes is the only thing that counts, sounded very avant gard for me but I didn't buy it, many did and ended up dead in the jails of the military gov. of the times in the country of my past, dead in the memory of all of us in the times of the wild, extreme and romantic ones when we thought that Che Guevara was a hero and communism was the answer along with peace love free sex free drugs free values non-values and the woodstock generation of camps and drugs while their parents could afford them but oh, boy did we change society !!, life was wild, colors were light love was fresh ans sex was easy but boy where was really My place, a non-place existence when/where I didn't even have the guts to try the drugs, not even till now and I always wonder, have I missed a place and time when being free was so good and allowed ?
Good morning sunshine.....and Israel was struggling to breath and we were struggling to drug and while freedom from a set values of society was the lazy goal of our lives struggle to live in a society with values and no peace was the ugly face of a face already born to the ugly face of society who turned a face when a face was so in need