Sunday, October 3, 2010

Day 20, October 3rd, 2010

Childhood memories !!, I loved the weddings all my life since childhood, I loved/still do dancing till my legs hurt and burn to death. Why ?? no idea, maybe cause my father did, maybe cause I loved dancing with him when I was young enough to make him my hero. He was a show off, He was handsome and he knew it and loved the theatricals, dancing was one of them. We rocked and rolled so nicely that people stopped dancing themselves to make a full circle around us, Us in the middle and life was good. I got his attention, the public's attention and life seemed so sweet. One wedding in particular I was waiting for so eagerly and oops, I went down with the mumps and life was cruel, I had to stay home and suffer the loss. I remember I waited all day long for a miracle, I pleaded to God to heal me cause I wanted to dance to the music, to roll and roll and rock and feel warm. God didn't listen and I was left in bed so furious, so miserable, so utterly sad, maybe this was the day when I started feeling this sense of always being left aside, by fortune, laughs and swing and it always felt as if I didn't enjoy that much as if life past by me with an occasional moment or two of really having fun. Very few moments indeed, very few. It was as if the whole world was partying while I was just watching from outside, stealing a peek or two through an imagined window to the life of others. Indeed I inherited the theatrical too, but it was serious business to me and sometimes it still is. This feeling of having lived a rather serious life and a feeling of loss and void never left me since and today I feel I am doing exactly
the same, talking my mind out to a large void of no one hearing me out and I feel I am just trying to fill this void and am so tempted to quit but on the other hand I want to live up to my own challenge of babbling away for a year, after all the universe is so immense and silent

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